Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2: A Hilarious Journey Through Bohemia's Absurdities

Every playthrough of Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 is a unique comedic masterpiece. This isn't just because of its brutal realism and unforgiving medieval setting, but also the sheer, unexpected silliness that unfolds constantly. Here are some of the most ludicrous side quests I encountered while exploring Bohemia. (Spoiler-free, focusing solely on the amusing side quests.)

Table of Contents

• Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song
• Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern
• Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog
• Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price
• Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies
• Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out

Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song

In Želejov, a charming town boasting a bathhouse, fighting arena, and tavern, reside two indolent troubadours dreaming of Bohemian musical stardom. Their problem? They lack money, an instrument, and any coherent artistic vision.

Henry, ever the helpful soul, embarks on a quest to assist these aspiring musicians. This involves lute theft (risking arrest and reputational damage), procuring sheep gut strings, and even hauling sacks for them (they deem debt repayment beneath their artistic genius).

After countless errands, they finally possess everything needed: instrument, freedom, and inspiration. Their reward? A soul-crushingly boring song celebrating Henry's mundane exploits. The locals cringe, Henry facepalms, and I laugh uncontrollably.

Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern

Remember those lute strings? They required the craftsmanship of Vojtěch, a local hunter. Vojtěch, however, is an inebriated individual who encountered wolves and subsequently climbed a tree. The rescue involves carrying him, saving his horse, and helping him sober up. The reward? A loyal ally.

But what happens if you deliver him directly to the tavern? I did just that. The ensuing tirade about my "help" and his injured leg was unforgettable. Our next meeting? A grumpy Vojtěch offering the scenic view behind his shack as compensation.

Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog

The Polovtsians, responsible for devastating Henry's hometown, are encountered in a tavern. My initial rage quickly dissipates as I find myself socializing, matchmaking, and even singing with them.

Then, a talking dog interrupts, launching into a philosophical lecture about life's purpose. Inspired (or perhaps intoxicated), I accept his swimming challenge ("Don't Drown!"). The ensuing hilarity is unmatched.

Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price

After mastering stealth and burglary, a single botched heist transformed me into Bohemia's most wanted. The evidence? Flashy accessories and lingering smells. I narrowly avoided arrest, learning a valuable lesson about meticulous detail in this game.

Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies

A stolen horse, a sleeping gypsy horse trader, and a runaway steed resulted in a hilarious dawn wait. Mikolaj's leisurely porridge breakfast only added to the absurdity. The sale was eventually successful, but not without a lesson about the unexpected consequences of even minor actions.

Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out

These are just glimpses into what makes Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 so unique. Every decision, however small, creates surprising and entertaining consequences. The commitment to realism and immersion guarantees a unique experience, making it a must-play for open-world RPG fans. Bohemia awaits!